Blink. Breathe.

Blink.

Remember when I created this blog with every intention of posting a flash fiction piece every Friday, and sprinkling my followers with little insightful blog posts throughout the month? … Let’s all laugh together at how quickly I failed at this.

I don’t feel guilty. My older sister, for years now, has always talked about giving herself grace in life, and I think for the first time, I’m starting to understand what that means. So what if I haven’t made time to sit down and write a piece of fiction for over two months? My days have been filled with me finishing my first year of grad school, planning my wedding, moving apartments. Filled with me prepping for my office to move locations, traveling to Pittsburgh for fun family celebrations, staying out late with friends laughing over beers.

Again: I don’t feel guilty! My journal will still be there for me when I’m ready to create. The first draft of my novel will accept me when the time is right to start editing it. The characters in my head will welcome me with wide open arms when I’m ready to put them down on paper and breathe life into them. I’m giving myself grace. (Kate, are you proud of me?)

Even as I type this, it’s hard to wrap my mind around the fact that we are halfway through June. Halfway through 2021! I can’t believe I’m sitting here on my new balcony (!!), in my new apartment, in my new town. I’m already halfway through my summer grad class. The countdown to my wedding is now in the double digits.

I feel like everyday I keep waking up and thinking,
“how is it already a new day?”
“how is it already a new day?”
“how is it already a new day?”

Just me?

Breathe.

Such good things.

An apartment with a balcony that faces the trees, that shows off the painted sky each night at sunset. A family that gathers and laughs. A job & workplace that cares for all of us, cares for all of us. Friends that welcome me in whatever capacity I am able to show up. Books that sit patiently for me; Netflix queues that know one day will be their day. A body that loves food, and hot yoga, and rest, all equally. A mind that does not guilt me for things I cannot do, projects I cannot finish, temptations I cannot resist. Sun that warms my skin, soft breezes that keep me cool.

I’ve been trying to avoid using the word “busy.” Ever since I read an article a few years ago that talked about the glorification of busy, I’ve actively tried to rid it of my vocabulary. Of course it slips up when someone quickly checks in on me, asking me what I’ve been up to. But now I’m starting to think of it as, “my days are full.” Full of activities, full of love, full of laughter, full of work, full of good food, full of assignments, full of friends. Not things I have to do, but things I get to do. Thinking of it like this sets my mind right.

But, even in my fullest of days, I try to take a moment to breathe.
In. Out. In. Out.

Happy June, friends. Hope you’ve been noticing all the good things too.

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Side note: I’ll be doing a live reading Monday June 14 at 7:30 PM on Dandelion Revolution Press’s Facebook Page! I hope you’ll join me as I read an excerpt from my short story, “The Keeper” 🙂